If Only I Had a DeLorean!
On several occasions this past week while I was seeing clients in counseling, I kept thinking, “If only they had a DeLorean!” You remember the famed car from the “Back to the Future” trilogy? Marty McFly had the power to go backward or forward in time. By punching in the date of his choice, the DeLorean fueled by the “flux-capacitor” would take him to any point in time he wished.
If I had a DeLorean for a day, here’s my first roundtrip: April 8, 2014. I would know the whole winning bracket for the NCAA Basketball tournament so I can fill out my selections and win $1,000,000,000,000 from Warren Buffet!
Listening to people unpack their problems I often hear them say, “If I can only have a do-over.” Or, “If I knew it would work out in the end, I would not be so worried now.”
If only I had a DeLorean! Sadly, we cannot hit the rewind button and edit the outcome. Nor can we fast-forward in time and script the future. All we can do is make the best of now.
How To Make The Best Of Now
Learn From the Mistakes You Made in the Past
Unfortunately, we cannot go back in time and undo what we did wrong. It doesn’t help beating ourselves up every day either. If you want to get past your past, deal with it, learn from it, and move forward. Make amends with others. Work hard on changing your behavior. Strive to be a better person.
Be Grateful for What You Have Now
Don’t focus on your losses, it will only perpetuate the hurt. Observe what and who you have in your life now. Invest here. Appreciate what you have. Let others know you value them.
Take Good Care of Yourself
You only have one life. I’ll say it again. You only have one life. It will end before you know it. Do I need to add anything here? Okay, go to it!
Take Good Care of Your Relationships
Are you good at this? If so, continue on. If not, get help. Do not take the people in your life for granted. Your kids will be adults before you know it. Your spouse can tolerate bad behavior for so long. See my article on resentment. If you struggle at relationships then get some coaching. I’m a relationship specialist. I’d be happy to assist. You can start by reading my book: Bringing Respect Back: Communicating Without the Conflict.
Use What You Have Now to Make a Difference in the Future
What do you have in your possession? A boy with a few fish and some bread offered it to the right person and he fed over 5000 people. Do you know that story? Express your smile to brighten someone’s day. Use your brain to solve a problem that’s seeking a solution. Invest time in a charitable cause. Risk failure to follow your passion.
Experience the Now
“Be in the moment” is what Phil Jackson preached to MJ and the Chicago Bulls in their title run.
I used to look forward to vacation, then once it began, I started counting down the days till it ended. What a killjoy! My approach since has changed. I experience the now, soaking up every moment, squeezing every drop of sweet juice I can. It has made a huge difference! In your hectic life, slow down and be present with now. Allow yourself simple pleasures. Allow your senses to capture the moment. Savor the food. Listen. Smell. Feel. Observe. Slow down. I think you get my point.